Why Your Kid Will Cheat
Have you ever got a call from one of your kid’s teachers saying that your kid was just caught cheating? It’s not a great feeling to answer that call. But wait–let’s calm down and spend some time looking at why kids cheat. Studies have shown that about a third of elementary students will cheat, and at the same time, the number is rising. By the time a kid gets to middle school, the percentage continues to rise to the point that by high school, the percentage of kids who cheat is about 75%.
So what’s a parent to do? Simply accept cheating as a way of life? Absolutely not. But to deal with the potential problem before it is a major problem, we must look first at why kids at different ages might cheat.
With young children, you need to understand how their minds function. They do not have a logical mindset yet–in fact, their way of thinking can best be described as “magical.” They will understand it is wrong to cheat in a game with other people, but that doesn’t transfer to copying someone else’s work. Parents want to, at this age, draw the parallel between cheating in a game and copying someone else’s work. The parent might add that good people don’t cheat.
This non-logical way of thinking isn’t out-grown until about age 7, when the child may cheat because they want to get a good grade and please the parents. Grades are now given in school at this age, and the child may feel pressure by the parent to achieve. It may also be confusing to a child that many teachers use small groups for learning, but then measure achievement individually. This doesn’t make sense to a child this age. In addition, children with poor study habits, undiscovered learning disabilities, or poor impulse control are particularly vulnerable to choosing to cheat as an option.
By fifth grade, peer pressure to cheat is big. Kids ask other kids to give them answers. Cell phones in the classroom only add to that possibility through texting. You need to help your child have an “out” when other kids request your kid to share answers.
Whatever you do, don’t say cheating doesn’t work. It does, unfortunately. Tell them that in your family cheating is the opposite of what you value. Let them know that if they cheat, they are violating your family’s values. Start early to get them to clearly understand those values!
Question: Have you had one of those cheating phone calls from a teacher? How did you handle it?