What Makes You Happy?
I’ve argued with people who insist that their goal in life is to be happy. I asked them, “How will you make that happen?” And usually that’s where the conversation gets bogged down. My point that I try to make with them is that happiness cannot be our goal in and of itself, for basically happiness is a byproduct of something else.
It’s not that we don’t know what behaviors lead us to experience a sense of happiness. Psychologists have identified a number of strategies that help people experience happiness, but they haven’t looked at real life–only statistical studies. But out of those studies they have identified 14 things that can boost our experience of being happy about life. Here they are in order of popularity:
1. Doing acts of kindness for others
2. Pursuing personally meaningful goals
3. Expressing gratitude
4. Being optimistic
5. Doing physical exercise
6. Nurturing social relationships
7. Savoring life’s joys
8. Acting like a happy person
9. Doing activities “in the moment.”
10. Forgiving others
11. Practicing my faith
12. Managing my Stress
13. Avoiding over-thinking
14. Practicing meditation
More than three out of four of those surveyed did #1–Doing acts of kindness for others, but even at the bottom, one in five found happiness through meditation. But here’s the real thing–those who reported they were happy usually practiced at least eight of the strategies on the list.
Here’s the bottom line. First, spend time practicing those on the list that are meaningful to you. It takes a time commitment. Second, make it a long-term commitment. When you get tired of one strategy, start another one. And third, mix it up. The more variety the better. Remember, happiness is a by-product, not a goal. These are the strategies that create the by-product.
Question: Which of the fourteen strategies have you tried? Which work best for you?