The Husband as the “Source”
In my reaction to the way some people interpret the words “headship” and “submission,” some time ago I was drawn to I Corinthians 11:3, which says, “The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” As I dwelt on what Paul said, my first thought was that this verse is not about hierarchy, for God and Christ are part of the trinity and as such are equal. I wrestled with what word I could use for “head” without changing the meaning.
I was watching a documentary on TV of how explorers were charting the “headwaters” of the Amazon river. So I played in my mind with the word, “headwaters,” and then heard them say that these many small rivers were actually the “source” of the Amazon–the rivers determined what became the Amazon. I had my word: “The source of every man is Christ, the source of woman is man, and the source of Christ (especially here on earth) is God.”
I was pleased with my reasoning, and then I noticed in a more recent version of the New Living Translation that there is an asterisk at the end of the I Corinthians verse. So I looked at the bottom of the page and there was an alternate reading. It said, “The source of every man is Christ, the source of woman is man, and the source of Christ is God.” To be honest, I still was pleased that I had had to work it out, for it had more meaning to me.
What does it mean to me? First, that my source–who I draw from and what guides me–is Christ. In the same way, who is the source, the guiding inspiration for a woman? It is her husband. He is her source, and he sets the pace for the marriage. Whatever is going on in the marriage, the husband is charting the course–he is responsible.
If a marriage is struggling to stay alive, it is the husband who is responsible. If the wife acts like the dictator, it is the husband who set it up that way–he has allowed it. Of course the wife is complicit in whatever the arrangement, but “the buck stops with the husband.” The good news in that is that he is meant to be the initiator in the marriage. So change begins not with the wife, but with the husband. If he lovingly initiates a new course to follow, the wife as a responder will feel secure and enter into the process.
Question: What does seeing the husband as the “source” mean to you?
I agree with your analysis that ‘head’ means ‘source’. It seems very clear from Genesis 2:22-23 and 1 Corinthians 11:8, to site only two references among many. But I cannot agree with your application of that idea. You say, “First, that my source–who I draw from and what guides me–is Christ. In the same way, who is the source, the guiding inspiration for a woman? It is her husband.” NO – NO – NO! A Christian woman’s guiding light is also Christ, not her husband. There is nothing in the Bible’s references to ‘head’ that indicates either a husband’s authority over or responsibility for the spiritual welfare of his wife or as the primary leader and guide of the Christian family.
“Three aspects of the meaning of head described throughout Scripture are (1) fullness, (2) growth from, and (3) held together by. All of these concepts lead us directly to the truth that the head and its fullness are one.” (Quote from The Full Rights of Sons soon to be available in both paperback and ebook.
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As I understand the idea put forth in this piece, Christ, as the source of all husbands, is the one who “set up” His relationship with each of them, and so when that relationship is not as it should be, the onus is on Him, as it’s “source” to initiate the change. If He lovingly initiates a new course to follow, the husband as a responder will feel secure and enter into the process.
Assuming that the majority of husbands who profess Christ are truly in relationship with Christ, the evidence to support this idea builds very slowly in most cases, at best. Otherwise, how would we explain all of the sin in the lives of so many professing husbands? We know that Christ is lovingly attempting to bring us into deeper relationship with Himself, and out of sin, so there should be a minimal amount of sin occurring in those of us who have a relationship with Him. Based on self assessments, shared by many Christian husbands that I’ve witnessed, this is unfortunately not the case.
This does not invalidate the idea that many wives would respond to their husband’s prolonged, loving attempts to improve their marriage relationships. It just shows that when you apply the reasoning behind the conclusion Dave has made here, it clearly changes the picture that we may have imagined about how wives will respond to their husbands’ loving attempts to change their relationships.
If Dave is right about all this, the implication is that even if husbands love as Christ loves, powerfully, and consistent, even then, our wives still may not move towards us as quickly as we expect or hope. Have we always moved towards Him that quickly?
I believe that head means source, i.e. origin, in 1 Corinthians 11:3. Origin is a recurrent theme in 1 Corinthians 11:2-16. (See verses 8, 11, 12.)
I agree with what Gilbert Bilezikian has said on this: “The sequence that links the three clauses [in 1 Cor. 11:3] is not hierarchy but chronology. At creation, Christ was the giver of life to men as the source of the life of Adam (“by him all things were created” Col. 1:16.) In turn, man gave life to the woman as she was taken from him. Then, God gave life to the Son as he came into the world for the incarnation.” From “I Believe in Male Headship”.
I have written about it here: http://newlife.id.au/equality-and-gender-issues/the-chiasm-in-1-corinthians-11_2-16/
Source means to me that we were originally sourced from Adam. To say the husband is the source in any other way begins to walk in the way of idolatry (exalting the husband as equal to or as the way to Christ/God. Christ is the sole mediator for both man and woman. To say the husband is the sole initiator and responsible for this role is to typecast how a person should be based on gender alone, which discounts the individual’s gifts, promptings of the Holy Spirit and spiritual maturity. To say the husband is responsible for the state of his marriage is true but only half of the equation. God can and continues to use husbands and wives in their marriages to bring transformation, based on their willingness to be used by Him, and not based on their gender.
The Lord has worked diligently in my life to bring down the idols I have set up to be “my source.” All things must bow at his feet. He alone is my source of life and freedom. Psalm 62-My soul finds rest in God alone.
Be blessed, brother.
It bothers me when people quote I Corinthians 11:3 (“The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”) by itself to make a point that is completely out of context and contrary to the point Paul was making.
For example, you say that the point of the verse is more or less that Christ is the source of the husband and husband is the source (guiding inspiration) for the wife. BUT THIS WAS NOT THE POINT PAUL WAS MAKING!
First of all, this section of the chapter is about head coverings in worship, and not about marriage at all – Paul was not say anything about husbands and wives! He did that in 1 Cor 7, which emphasizes interdependence.
Second, and more important, Paul goes on to say just a few verses later in the same paragraph – “11 NEVERTHELESS, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.”
So I think it is a real stretch to make 1 Cor 11:3 our philosophy for how a marriage ought to be lived out – more than that, it puts undue pressure on men and belittles a woman’s own faith journey. I think God should be the guiding source for BOTH parties. I hope you will do more study on the book of I Corinthians and reconsider this conclusion!