Facebook and Loneliness
With all of the ways we can connect technologically, one would think that the experience of loneliness would be on the decline, yet all the research suggests the opposite is true–people today experience an unprecedented, and growing sense of alienation. At the top of the list regarding what stirs up the feelings of loneliness the most, stands Facebook. We may have “more friends,” but technological forms of friendship typically do not have much depth.
Here’s one of the trends: in l985, only 10% of Americans said they had no one to talk to about serious matters, and 15% said they had only one such good friend. Twenty years later, 25% said they had no one to talk with, and 20% had one such good friend. Not a good trend in any way. And ten years from that, the statistics are not yet in.
But how does Facebook feed into this ? Two ways: 1.) Facebook seems to encourage developing relationships that are outside of one’s family. This may explain why Facebook users report a greater disconnect and higher levels of “family loneliness.” 2.) Most users of Facebook practice the non-personalized use of the technology. That means they typically scan their friends’ status updates, or broadcast their own updates. They don’t interact. And when you simply read about your “friends,” studies have found a correlation between simply reading other peoples’ Facebook, and the increased feelings of depression–a contributor to loneliness.
In the posting on Loneliness last Tuesday, we referred to the work of John Cacioppo and his book, Loneliness. To Cacioppo, Facebook allows only a superficial form of intimacy, but it is not the real thing–it’s not a real relationship. He adds that Facebook can be wonderful, but it has to be used properly. When used in an interactive way, it will lead to more integration with others, rather than more isolation.
Another study cautoioned that the misuse of technology leads us to design ourselves to fit our digital model of ourselves. We get preoccupied with how we present ourselves, rather than to just being satisfied being ourselves. Then, in our anxiety about how we present ourselves, we become more dependent on technology to create our relationships. At the same time we try to protect ourselves from really being known by anyone. It is a way to retreat from the messy reality of relationships with other people, and that only intensifies our feelings of loneliness.
The truth is, a connection on Facebook is very different from a bonded, attached relationship with a flesh-and-blood person. We were created by God to experience connection with other human beings–the bonded, attached form of relationship.
Question: How do you use Facebook?