A Couple’s Support System
As you read this, my wife Jan and I will be driving up to central California to spend five days with some very special people. We call ourselves “D’tenavus,” for there used to be ten of us (five couples) who would get together somewhere in California for an extended-time together two or three times a year. Now we are nine, but we still call ourselves “D’tenavus.”
It was 30 years ago that one of the wives of the couples who used to be youth sponsors at a church where I was the High School and College Minister, decided that the five wives should meet in the center of the state and spend some time together. They had so much fun, they decided that the next time the husbands would be part of it as well. Three of the couples live in the Bay Area, and now two of us live in Southern California. So for almost 30 years, the Northerners plan a weekend somewhere, usually in the fall. And the Southerners plan a weekend in the spring.
Where have we gone? We’ve played golf in the dessert and other places; we’ve hiked in the Sierra’s; we’ve sat or hours and talked on a patio overlooking the bay in Santa Cruz; we’ve relaxed in the places highlighted in Alfred Hitchcock’s movie “The Birds;” we’ve watched our Danish citizen in the group almost not get back into the U.S. because he didn’t have his green card with him; we’ve cruised on Lake Tahoe; rafted on a roaring river in inner tubes and then compared our bruises, along with a number of other great places, all giving us great memories of being together.
But we’ve also stood watch as one of the husband’s died, and the was a strong support system to his wife. We’ve helped each other financially at times. And the amazing thing is that we’ve met twice a year and sometimes three times a year, and in the almost 30 years, not one person has missed an outing. And most important is the laughter and silliness that just “happens” the minute we arrive at our destination
Perhaps the reason why is found in some of the other things we are to each other. Every time we have met, we have prayed together for each other and for our kids–and some of them really needed prayer! And we now pray for our grandkids–and some of them really need prayer as well. We’ve had great conversations about important things as well as frivolous conversations about non-important things. We’ve also had communion together each time we’ve met.
In fact, we’ve become family to each other and we care and support each other’s families. Our kids know they are being prayed for, not just when we are together, but all through the year. We stay in touch via phone and emails all throughout the year and no one has a better support system than D’tenavus! It’s our tribe!
Question: What makes up your family’s support system? Who do your kids know who care for them deeply?